What was the rich, young ruler afraid of?

Most Christians know the story of the rich, young ruler.[1] He came to Jesus seeking the secret to eternal life, and boldly asserted that he had obeyed God’s commandments his whole life. Jesus told him he needed to do one more thing: sell everything he owned, give the proceeds to the poor, and then follow Jesus. The young man went away disheartened, for he was not prepared to part with all he owned.

Jesus was trying to teach the young man the lessons of the two greatest commandments.[2] First, we must love God more than anything else—especially money. Second, we must love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves, and thus the instruction to give the sale proceeds to the poor.

Jesus then went further and pointed out the secret to attaining eternal life, as the young man had requested: “follow Me.”[3]

Why did the young man go away? What was he afraid of? Starving to death? I don’t think so. I think he was afraid of losing control over his life.

As a rich young man, he was in control. His wealth allowed him to make his own rules, do whatever he wanted and get whatever he wanted, so long as he didn’t do anything blatantly illegal. If he reduced himself to poverty, he would give up that control and be completely dependent on God.

And that is exactly what Jesus asks of anyone who wants to be his follower. Not to sell all of our possessions, but to give up control over our life—to surrender our life to God and Jesus Christ. Instead of just doing what we want to do, this surrender means that we must try to do what Jesus wants us to do. As Jesus said, “Now why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?”[4]

Doing what Jesus wants us to do starts with those two greatest commandments: love God and love others. As I have stated before, this kind of love is not a feeling, but a choice.

It means we choose to be kind to everyone, including people we don’t know and people we don’t even like—just like the Good Samaritan.[5]

It also means we choose to hate nobody: “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and yet he hates his brother or sister, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother and sister whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.”[6]

I believe Jesus weeps when he sees people who claim to be Christians spouting hatred and vitriol toward others. To state the obvious: we can win people to Christ by loving them, but not by hating them.

[1]. See Matthew 19:16-22, Mark 10:17-22, and Luke 18:18-23. Matthew tells us he was young, while Luke identities him as a “ruler,” and all three agree he was quite wealthy.

[2]. See Matthew 22:34-40, Mark 12:28-31, and Luke 10:25-28.

[3]. Matthew 19:21, Mark 10:21, Luke 18:22

[4]. Luke 6:46

[5]. Luke 10:30-37

[6]. 1 John 4:20